My Doctor Who Fic

[meganlynn09]

I don't like seeing my fic just sit there on my computer, so I have to post it.  Sorry, un-betaed, and I'm only giving it to my flist for right now, unlocked.  Those that are British, please let me know if something in this doesn't make sense, thanks.

Don't even have a title for it!
Probably rated PG or so.
Jack, Rose and a cameo from Nine.
About 450 words.

Takes place almost immediately after the end of "The Doctor Dances"

     He ended the night of dancing, and a little bit of singing on her part, with a laugh and smile. He moved around the console, most likely looking for something to fix up. Jack had wandered off a short time before, trying to get his thoughts straight.

     She flashed a grin at the Doctor before she started through the TARDIS, to try and direct Jack through the ship with a little help.

     Rose found him in a corridor, opening the doors of random rooms. She asked him what he had found and he mentioned three pools, some sort of garden, a large room furnished only with a ping-pong table and a lecture hall. She cursed under her breath. He found the pools in five minutes when she’d been searching for three months.

     "So, did I ever get the words thank you out?"

     She said no, with a smile, and a giggle when he moved closer. "The Doctor wouldn’t let an innocent man die." She ignored the odd expression that crossed his face.

     "That’s handy to know," a flash of his default, dazzling smile, then "You and the Doctor, you’re-"

     "No," shaking her head, trying to emphasize her answer. They stood in the hallway, almost awkward, when she noticed him staring at her.

     She turned, intending to lead him somewhere he could settle down, when she somehow lost her footing. Jack moved to grab her, hold her upright. He held her, arm around her waist, standing behind her, his other arm landed his hand on her chest. She moved herself to the right, hopefully giving him the signal to move his hand. Rose turned her head, almost expecting an apology, instead seeing that default expression again.

     Her body turned around and she found herself in the same position she was in on top of his invisible spaceship, full body contact, with his hands on her waist. She leaned her upper body back, to look at his face better, but his arm moved up her body, trying to keep more contact between them. She turned her head to the side, and tried to laugh.

     He let her go slowly and she fought with herself not to take a step back. He tried to give her a genuine smile, but failed in the middle. He looked down, letting his shoes distract him for a moment. She let herself take a small step away, and when moving to go past Jack, she gripped his hand, and pulled him along.

     "There are bedrooms in the next hall. At least, I think there is. Might have moved again." Grin firmly in place, she looked back at him.

     "Moved again? Are you sure you're not just getting lost?" He still thought he was right when she laughed.

Comments

[velvet-midnight.livejournal.com]

To say what I said in the message coming to your computer, I really like this. It's very well done and I see what you mean about it not being fluff/angst. I'm so sorry I didn't get it back to you in time, but it's coming back now. :)

[meganlynn09.livejournal.com]

No problem really, I should be apologizing! I'm really glad you liked it, though.

[romanticizing.livejournal.com]

Hmm, interesting. I like it. Jack is such an interesting character, isn't he? I haven't watched any episodes with him in a while, so this reminded me. I'd like to read more if you ever write any :)

[meganlynn09.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Having rewatched season one, like a million times, I have a pretty fresh Jack in my head. And he really is this interesting character. I don't know if I'll write more, this idea just came out of nowhere, so here's hoping it happens again.

[bluekiwibubble.livejournal.com]

I like this, it's...um...I can't think of an adjective...good, anyhow. And I doesn't need brit-picking, it's completely fine =) I do like jack in it, nice reminded of his personality as I haven't watched/read anything with him in for a few months.

[meganlynn09.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

doesn't need brit-picking, it's completely fine =)

Oh yay, I was worried that something might not carry over.

I'm always rewatching an episode from season one, so it's not hard to forget the man ;)

[nina-ds.livejournal.com]

This is a really interesting little moment. I like it. I particularly like that Jack thinks he's making a slick move, but she's already got him figured out (I do not think Rose's being dazzled with Jack lasted after she found out he was a con man - he was going to have to re-win her, as he started to do by stopping the bomb; Rose's head may be easily turned, but she's smart).

As someone else said, no Britpicking necessary (wandered, rather than wondered in first paragraph?). I see a few copyediting things, but it's a very nice little vignette. As for a title, what about "Misstep" - it could mean both her little trip and Jack's assumption that he could make this move on her.

[meganlynn09.livejournal.com]

I'm glad! Happy it came out well.

(wandered, rather than wondered in first paragraph?)

I was curious about that one! I tried to figure out if I was using that, or spelling, that in the right way.

And I like the title idea, I might just use that!